Let’s Talk Transgender Sex: Making It Safe and Positive for Everyone
Around 1.4 million adults in the United States identify as transgender. Despite that, there are still many misconceptions about the trans community. And this is especially true when it comes to sex.
The amount of information out there about transgender sex is limited and not all that helpful.
Of course, no matter what your sexual identity is, sex can be a taboo subject. And considering how much information is left out of sex education in general, transgender individuals and their partners can be left feeling confused and frustrated.
However, everyone has a right to have positive, enjoyable, and safe sex. So if you’re interested in learning more, then continue reading and we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about having positive transgender sex.
Consider Your Language and Body Parts
Even though a person might have a certain body part, that doesn’t mean that they want to use it – or that they want to use it in the way that you assume. You also shouldn’t assume that you know what to call a certain body part or action. For example, a transgender person may be inserting a part of their body in another person and still want to use language as though they’re the receiver.
This is all part of a general consent discussion. It’s important that you talk about language. Don’t just talk about language that you find uncomfortable, you should also talk about language that you find sexy.
Remember that Clothing Can Be Sexy
When we think of sex, we often think of people being completely nude. However, for trans people, clothing can be extremely gender-affirming. And clothes that are affirming can be very sexy.
For example, if someone feels dysphoric about their chest area, then they can wear a binder or T-shirt during sex. They also might want to wear a padded bra that has breast forms.
You can also think about doing things like tucking. That’s when someone takes their external genitalia and tucks it in between their legs so that it doesn’t come out in front of their body. There are also certain garments that can be used to hold the external genitals in place and out of sight.
Wearing sexy lingerie can also really help to set the mood and be extremely gender-affirming.
It’s important to remember that the more comfortable your partner feels, the better sex you’re going to have.
Anal Sex Is the Great Equalizer
No matter what sex someone was born with, they definitely have an anus. There are some people who aren’t comfortable giving anal sex, and there are others who aren’t comfortable receiving anal sex. And that’s all fine.
But the great thing about anal sex is that it’s non-gendered. Having anal sex can be greatly gender-affirming because a trans person can be on the receiving end and/or on the giving end.
If you do end up having anal sex, it’s best to use a condom, lots of lube, and to take it slow.
Respond to Your Body’s Changing Needs
If a person was assigned the male sex at birth, they may decide to add estrogen to their body and suppress testosterone as part of their transition. This can lead to them not getting erections anymore.
If a trans person has a vagina, then they might experience atrophy or dryness due to the fact that those tissues need estrogen in order to regenerate. However, those issues are treatable.
If a person is on testosterone and they experience atrophy in the vagina, and that’s uncomfortable for them, then they can use a small amount of topical estrogen in order to renew the vaginal tissues.
And if someone is suppressing their testosterone, they can take a medication like Viagra and once again achieve erections, if they so choose.
Remember Your Sexual Health
If a part of your body needs regular checkups, then you should still get that checked out, regardless of what your sexual identity is or how often you use that part. So if you still have a cervix, you need to get pap smears in the same kind of schedule that a cis woman would get pap smears.
If you have breast tissue on your chest, regardless of your identity, it’s important to check for any concerning changes going on. And if you have a prostate, you still have to get prostate exams.
Figure Out the Best Barrier Methods for You
A polyurethane barrier can be extremely useful. Here, you would lay the barrier over a transwoman’s strapless, so you visually get a smooth curve instead of something that looks like it’s standing up. This is useful when going down on a transwoman because it can create a very pleasant sensation for a person who still has external genitals.
The main thing to remember is that a lot of barrier methods still have strong associations with gender. The more neutral you can make it, the better your experience is going to be.
The Importance of Knowing How to Have Positive Transgender Sex
Having transgender sex can be just as, if not more, exciting as having sex with a cis person. The important thing to remember is to be respectful and understanding. By practicing clear communication and being open and receptive, you can have an extremely safe and fun sexual experience.
If you’re looking for LGBTQ+ friendly sex toys and products, then contact us today and see what we can do for you!
