Who knew a simple sex toy could be used in such creative ways?
If you’re even remotely acquainted with the human anatomy, a dildo seems pretty self-explanatory. Much like their IRL counterparts, dildos don’t have any fancy bells or whistles like most vibrators do. It’s just, uh, well—it’s a dick. A plastic dick.
But don’t let that bore you. Instead, think of dildos as a blank canvas upon which to explore all your sex toy dreams. Whether you’re a certified dildo enthusiast or on the brink of buying your very first one, here’s everything you could possibly need to know about how to use a dildo.
The dildo basics
STEP 1: ACQUIRE THE CORRECT SIZE DILDO
Like penises, dildos come in all shapes and sizes. All that variety exists for a reason: This is basically your only chance to find the perfect peen and usher it into your life via your wallet.
When it comes to size (which refers to both length and girth), it’s better to start small and then work your way up, says Dulcinea Pitagora, a psychotherapist and sex therapist. “You can get more pleasure from larger sizes when you’re more aroused,” Pitagora says.
That said, if you’re someone who knows you prefer a wider girth, go forth and buy a wider dildo. Or if you plan on using it for anal stimulation, find a shape that’s narrow at the end and gets wider toward the base.
STEP 2: CONSIDER THE MATERIAL
Unlike penises, dildos come in a variety of materials. “They can be expensive, but it’s worth investing in the best quality dildo that you can afford, because it will last longer in the end,” Pitagora says.
Body-safe silicone is your best bet, since it’s non-porous and easiest to clean (you can sterilize it by putting it in boiling water). But if you want something that looks like modern art and feels extremely smooth, or you’re into temperature play, you can also buy a glass one or a metal one.
Pitagora also recommends taking a close look at where the dildo’s bumps and ridges are (if any): Does this particular model have a totally smooth shaft, or a ridgy one? And do you think your vagina will like that?
“There’s no right or wrong in choosing textures and shapes,” Pitagora says. “I recommend going to a sex toy store and feeling a variety of them. Follow your instinct toward one you’re drawn to. Or take your time shopping online, and try to order from a site with reviews so you can read how others have experienced the product.”
STEP 3: LUBE IT UP
You can basically use a dildo however you please: During masturbation and/or during partnered sex, so long as you have consent. In all cases, use lube. Even if your selected D is slick, lubricant will only make it slicker and help stimulate arousal for you, whether you’re solo or with someone else. In other words, don’t sleep on dildo lubrication!
STEP 4: USE IT THE RIGHT WAY
If this is a dildo you plan to use with multiple partners, put a condom on it the same way you would an IRL penis.
“You absolutely must use a condom on your dildo if it’s made from porous materials,” adds Dr. Deb Laino, a sex therapist and sex educator. So, if it’s made out of a squishy jelly-like material, wrap it up. Otherwise, you could be putting you or your partner at risk of infection or STIs.
The other, equally important dildo rule is the same one that applies to all sex toy use: If it’s that’s just been in an anus, do NOT put it in a vagina or mouth. The bacteria that lives in/on one body part can be transferred to other body parts, which can lead to an infection. That’s why it’s crucial to fully clean a dildo before using it for different purposes or with different partners.
STEP 5: CLEAN THE DILDO
Silicone dildos have the added bonus of easy cleaning, because you can just throw ’em in boiling water for a few minutes and voila, clean. Dr. Laino says glass, metal, plastic, or skin-safe rubber dildos can be washed using warm water and a mild, unscented soap. No matter the material, make sure your dildo is thoroughly dried before putting it away to avoid (gag alert) mold.
